Trusting Your Change
Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah.
Acts 9:19-22 (NIV)
Saul spent several days with the Damascus disciples and eventually started preaching. What a change from wreaking havoc on the movement that spread a gospel message about Jesus all the way over to preaching about this same Jesus Himself! From leading the charge and exercising the authority to have followers of the Way arrested—now he’s going around inviting people to experience a personal relationship with Jesus for themselves! What a change! Saul has had some kind of experience, hasn’t he?
Some of us, if we had been there in Damascus that day, would have, by default, asked the question: But has he really changed? And if he has, how do we know he has truly changed? We know he’s been through some things that should have changed him, but how do we know for sure? Is it because he’s preaching now about Jesus? That may result in change, but it doesn’t guarantee it. It’s the theological tension that each of us is trying to manage.
Sometimes you may react in ways that speak more to who you were before than who you are now in Christ. Sometimes you may still become the prisoner of your doubts. You haven’t broken all your habits. You can’t always tell whether your prayers are getting through. You may really wonder what it all means, or if you want to live the rest of your life like this. You may love what the Lord has brought you, but you may not like all of it because He’s made you give up a lot.
So have you really changed, and is it really worth it to have surrendered to the change in the first place? We all wrestle with this when facing the pushback of life.
You need to trust the change and know that your faith is inviting you to press forward. It’s clear that whatever was a part of the several days Saul spent with the disciples in Damascus, it served to deeply root the change Saul experienced. It defined the ministry and the mission of his life, and just like that, Saul went from antagonist to preaching.
The Lord has changed you and the change is real. Faith starts with belief in Jesus, but it is fueled by believing that you’ve been changed in order to live your life in fellowship with Him and to live your life sharing Him with others. Faith is fueled by your belief that your change is real.
